So Rong Ribrary

And then it was gone. Over the weekend the Pottster and I loaded up a UHAUL and bid adieu to the beacon on the hill, otherwise known as Library Courts. We had a good run for the past 13 months, but like they say, all good things come to an end. It was a bittersweet parting, but I think we have enough vending machine follies, pizza delivery car towing, typo filled notices and breakfast nook memories to last a lifetime. So, aroha Ribrary, and may our paths cross again in the future.

Not all is lost however as Schling, Beercan and I all moved into the great unknown, aka DC itself, and will most assuredly undertake new and exciting adventures. We all moved in different places, but we are all close, and you can bet your ass I’ll be over at Pott’s place on game days to catch the action on his new 52” flat screen. Life is good.

Yours truly found an open room for rent in a detached house with a big back yard, and it seems the Oceanliner has stumbled into a virtual paradise. For one, the backyard is loaded with side by side grills, one gas and one charcoal. Niiiiice. Two, my room actually has windows this year. Still no closet, by hey I’m making strides. Then there are the occupations of my new house mates. One works in sales and marketing for the Washington Wizards and gets free tickets galore to all events at the Verizon Center, not just NBA games. The second works for the biggest beer distributor in the city and brings home free beer every day. You read that correctly. There is a mini fridge in the dining room with free roommate beer. I have already indulged numerous times. Some of the beers he brings home aren’t even on the market yet. Today when I go home I can try between two Sam Adams prototypes. The third roommate is a biomedical engineer for the American Red Cross, so if you need any blood, holler atcha boy. I bet you’re reading this and wondering “Well shit, what does Oelschlager bring to the table?” My patented sarcasm and fairly shallow observations, that’s what. Which leads us perfectly into my random thought of the week(s).

Stating the Obvious of the Week:

My Nats are truly horrendous. After a smoking July which saw them go an impressive 5-19 (that’s a .208 winning percentage for those of you scoring at home), the DC 9 sat at the bottom of the standings as the worst team in baseball. It is not hard to figure out why the Nats are so bad. In baseball, you need to be able to hit to win games. The Nats can’t hit, thus it makes sense that they can’t win games. On August 1st, the Nats were last in the whole sport in runs, hits, batting average, on base percentage and slugging percentage. They are batting .241 as a team. Oy vey. But hey, I still love going to games.

Regurgitated Stat of the Week

The Yankees should have thrown a parade when Manny Ramirez got traded to the Dodgers. Check out Manny’s career stats against the Bronx Bombers:

.321 batting average, 1,029 OPS, 55 home runs, 163 RBI’s in 200 games

Good golly, Miss Molly. Somehow I doubt Jason Bay is going to put the fear of God into anybody on the Yankees pitching staff the way Manny did.

Idea That Will Never See Fruition of the Week

The wave is one of the grandest of sporting traditions, but it really needs a better way to end. Once it gets going the wave is a very impressive spectacle. But nothing is quite as demoralizing as watching the wave slowly die down a peter out with the last 26 oblivious fans in the stadium still going nuts. I don’t know how to do it, but people need to agree on say, three full rotations around the stadium and then everyone yells Charge! or something. I don’t know the solution, but there’s got to be one.

You see that there folks? That’s classic Oceanliner tact: point out a problem and not offer a way to fix it. I feel like a political commentator already. Hey-yo!

Reevaluation of Priorities of the Week

Austin and I were waiting behind some dude at the grocery store last week at the Red Box thing where you can rent movies. After pondering his selection for a solid ten minutes, the guy choose…Step Up 2: The Streets. This dude needs to stop the presses if Step Up 2 is his entertainment destination. This is the movie whose tagline is

It's not where you're from. It's where you're at.

That’s deep. And you know any movie that has this as an image will be transcending:


Yes, somebody paid money to watch this movie. And yes, someone paid money, a lot of money, to make this movie. And people wonder why I get so worked up sometimes.

Comment of the Week

During the coverage of the British Open Gauntlet, Ian Baker Finch had the best line by far, simply stating, “Well, it’s a good day to be a kite, at least.”

(Shhhhhh. That quote was from like two weeks ago. Shhhhhhh.)

Headscratcher of the Week

In news that is somewhat interesting, fairly mundane and completely inconsequential, I found out last week while watching a Phillies-Nats game that 45 year old Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer is married to the daughter of ESPN college basketball analyst Digger Phelps. Who knew?

You Know How This Part Goes

Well, that’s it for this week folks. After Yatesing/Gutiing/Spencing the last column, I’ll end this one by Samming it. Stay safe, keep it real and oooooouuuuuuu! (throwing back my head and kicking with one leg)