I Like My Posts Like I Like My Women: Short

So let's get to it.

Mike Patrick continues to ruin sporting events. I watched the majority of the Duke-Wake game on mute, and it was glorious. With 2 minutes left, Austin’s roommate (who went to Duke) walked into the apartment and wanted to listen to the rest of the game. Surely, thought the Oceanliner, Mike Patrick can’t be that bad in only 2 minutes. Silly Oceanliner, Trix are for kids. Sure enough, Patrick continues to be incredulous over the most common aspects of a game. I heard at least 5 “unbelievable”s in those last two minutes, as if Jabba had never seen a team come back from being 7 points down with multiple minutes left. I also caught at least two “are you KIDD-ing me!”. Mike, cmon buddy. They pay you to do this. Surely you can me more original than that.

In a shocking turn of events however, Dick Vitale saved the broadcast. Before Duke’s last possession, Vitale suggested (if somewhat obviously) that Duke should give the ball to Kyle Singler or Gerald Henderson, who had been the entire Duke offense in the second half. Henderson got the ball and tied the game with a sweet 15 footer. Then, before the Wake inbounds play, Vitale said something to the effect of:

“Johnson. They gotta give it to Johnson on the inside. That’s their best chance of winning this game”.

Not second leading scorer in the conference Jeff Teague, not all world freshman Al-Farouq Aminu, but James Johnson. Yet, verily, it came to pass. Duke uncharacteristically blew its set play coverage and Johnson laid it in for the W. Sweet, sweet nectar, though belong to Wake. I am not one to lavish Dicky V, but credit needs to be given where it was due, and he had a hell of an end game. Unfortunately, Mike Patrick never has a good game.

Ever notice how the plots of the Die Hard movies increase in scope with every edition? First Bruce Willis has to rescue an office building, then an airport, then a city, and finally a whole country. If they make a Die Hard 5, Willis might have to save the would from an alien attack. That’s fine with me though. If there’s anyone I want fighting aliens while covered in blood, chain smoking and delivering curse filled insults and rants, it’s lieutenant John McClane. I would ever go so far as to put John McClane in the same level as Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer. We could create a Mt. Rushmore of Hardasses…

Sorry, that last sentence was influenced by the horrendous new feature on SportsCenter called the Mt. Rushmore of Sports. If you haven’t heard about it yet, good. Look away and never watch SportsCenter again. I’m close to never watching it again myself. The Mt. Rushmore of Sports is next in line of terrible ESPN gimmicks in the mold of Who’s Now and the Greatest Highlight. SportsCenter looks more like TMZ now than a highlight show. What’s wrong with showing a 2 minute highlight for every NBA game the night before and actually showing a story develop? That’s what I want to see. Not who Idaho’s Mt. Rushmore of Sports is. Turrible.

That’s all I got. It’s freezing in DC. Out.