“I especially like watching LeBron James. It’s like watching Adrian Peterson play running back, only no one is allowed to tackle him.”
This line is what started the quote-post inspiration. I read this on Deadspin, and thought it was clever, as well as dead on. What makes the image even better is the State Farm ad running right now that shows King James singing with the Cleveland Browns. Bron Bron is a freight train, and the ad showing him lining up at nearly every position on the gridiron is not that far-fetched to me. Hell, he already can play every position on a basketball court, why not football?
“Most teams, like Duke, can wear you down on the defensive end by applying constant pressure. North Carolina is one of the few teams that can wear an opponent down on the offensive side of the ball.”
This was Raycom analyst Mike Gminski, right after Carolina went on their 14-0 run in the second half to blow open the game against Dook on Wednesday night. It was such a relief to realize that Raycom had the TV rights to the Duke-Carolina game in my area, thus avoiding me having to listen to Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale, who called the game for ESPN and the rest of the country. It was so refreshing to get accurate and level headed play-by-play (from Tim Brandt) and astute color analysis (by the aforementioned Gminski) rather than they gushing infatuations of Patrick and the hysterical ramblings of Vitale. What’s amazing is that Gminski is less of a Duke homer than either Jabba or Dicky V, even though the G-man played for the Blue Devils. And not only does he keep fairly neutral, Gminski delivers the kind of insight (the quote above) that actually enhances the telecast. This is, obviously, any color man’s job, but very few seem to do it.
“The Dookies may make an Elite 8 or Final 4 run with their style of play, but they ain’t takin home the prom queen with their trigger happy style of play… At some point the 3’s will stop falling, and that’s when the Devils will lose.”
Loyal Oceanliner readers will remember this passage. I wrote this on February 29th of last year, describing why Duke would not win the Tournament in the first edition of the Eliminator. What’s eerie is that it applies 100% to this year’s team as well. Duke can beat anyone in the country when their 3’s are falling, but they have absolutely no one on the interior they can rely on. Their 5 best players are all wings (Henderson, Singler, Scheyer, Smith and Paulus). Zoubek and Lance Thomas in the middle are pedestrian at best. I think Duke would have been a title contender if Krzyzewski had gone out and gotten a stud freshman big man like Greg Monroe (Georgetown), Al-Farouq Aminu (Wake), Samardo Samuels (Louisvulle) or Ed Davis (Carolina). But as is, they will not win 6 games in a row in the Tourney relying on the 3 ball.
Speaking of Coach K…
“You know this smug fuck from all his American Express commericials, from his nasily interviews, from his passive shots at other coaches and from his retarded Polish name Krzyzewski which of course is pronounce "Che-chefski." I think the Black equivalent of Coach K's name is spelling your son's name JaTrian and pronouncing it John. Its just plain retarded.”
This had me rolling. One of my friends send this rant on Duke from the blog Ned’s Younger Brother, and it had me cracking up. Here is the full article if you enjoy Duke bashing.
“Each little snail here, Know how to wail here. That's why it's hotter, Under the water. Ya we in luck here, Down in the muck here.Under the sea!”
Yes, you read that correctly folks. Those are indeed the lyrics from Under the Sea in The Little Mermaid. I etch down those epic lines to celebrate the return of my iPod. It had not been working until I took it to the Apple store and they fixed it. It was a welcome addition back to my workout routine, and it paid off immediately. I was on the treadmill and had half a mile left, but was struggling. I needed one more song to bring me home, and like an angle in the night Under the Sea was the next song in the shuffle. Sometimes the stars align like that. Everyone who knows me well is aware of my affinity for TV and Movie Theme Songs. Hell, its one of my Facebook interests, so you know its important. Well now they are back with me after a couple month hiatus, and it is beautiful.
“Drafting the wrong quarterback is like marrying the wrong person – miserable and expensive.”
The Sporting News wrote this at the beginning of an article about whether the Lions should take Matt Stafford with the number 1 pick, and it amused me. Whatever the Lions do, they will screw it up. St. Louis must be feeling good at number two. They don’t even have to do any work. Knowing that they are picking a guy the Lions didn’t want is good enough.
“I’ll have a Makers and Coke.”
Austin and I were at the bar of a nice restaurant last Saturday when the guy next to us ordered this from the bar tender. I turned and stared incredulously and wanted to ask this brosepf how he could justify murdering such good bourbon by diluting it with Coke. Rookie.
“I’ll always enjoy his 30-second-post-garbage-bucket celebrations.”
I read this on a UVa message board a while back about Mikalauskus having to leave the program, and a tear of nostalgia ran down my cheek. The two enduring images of Lars that will always stay with me:
1) The goofy Lithuanian jersey popping and screaming “we’re number one!” after beating Arizona on the road. So awkward and unnecessary.
2) Corey Foley telling the story of being at the bar at Coupes, sitting next to Lars after we had beaten Duke on the Singletary miracle one handed floater. I’ll let Corey take it from here (or at least my best memory of what he said):
“So Lars has this busted ass brunette on his lap. He then yells at the bartender and orders a round of shots for everyone around him. For the toast he says, and I kid you not, “To the greatest basketball team in the world!” in his thick ass Eastern European accent. The shot almost came out of my nose when I heard that toast.”
Priceress. I can almost hear the Arnold-esque voice in my head.
“In a matchup between two teams fighting to escape the Big 12 basement, Colorado proved it truly deserves last place.”
A great opening line to a game recap by the AP after Colorado scored 9 (yes, 9) points against Iowa State in the first half of their basketball game on Wednesday. Amazingly, there may be worse BCS basketball teams than Virginia.
After a post filled with quotes, I leave you with one of the funniest images I have seen in a long time. My coworker informed me that Jason Cain is alive and well playing basketball in Europe. Well, it turns out that his fans in Germany are just as passionate as the Assemblage of Cain was at UVa. And I can hardly blame them. No matter how boneheaded some of his plays were, Cain always played his heart out and was fun to watch. He will always hold a soft spot in my UVa basketball heart. The image below is a tapestry that Cain’s German fans brought to one of his games. It speaks for itself. Stache 4 Life. Godspeed.
1 comment:
Thank you for the link to the Duke-bashing blog. I loved it. Duke is most definitely the most uniquely hatable teams in college basketball. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people could be united in their hate for such a team.
On another note, the Hogs could definitely challenge UVa for worst BCS team. Although they handed OU its only loss, they have made a point to consistently be whooped by garbage SEC teams. A tale of woe...and their best player was just suspended indefinitely.
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