NBA Volleyball All Star Team

The Oceanliner has long contended that elite NBA players, if properly trained, would without a doubt become the most dominant volleyball players on the face of the planet. NBA athletes’ combination of speed, strength, agility, reflexes, and athleticism is perhaps unmatched in the realm of professional sports. They need all of these attributes to excel on the hardwood, and this same skill set is what appears to be needed on the volleyball pitch. Could you imagine if LeBron James spent 3 months with a formal volleyball coach, learning the proper techniques of the game? He would be the most dominant player in the world. He would literally kill people with his spikes, and on defense all he would have to do is go for ridiculous blocks (instead of face guarding other players, his one weakness). Who the hell would be able to spike it past the 6’8”, 240 lb, 7-foot wingspan, 44-inch vertical leap Bron Bron? Absolutely no one. Except maybe another NBA player.

It is with this in mind that I decided to publish my first annual NBA Volleyball All Star Team. A team that would undoubtedly bring home world titles, if such a thing even exists in the world of professional volleyball. I have no idea how many players a volleyball team normally carries, but I know six people are on the floor at any given time. I decided to round this out with 4 bench spots, for a total of 10 NBA reps on my inaugural squad. I wanted 2 big guys, 2 crafty set up men, and 6 freak-of-nature leapers to pound the opponent into submission. Thus, optimally, there would be 1 setter, 1 big man and 4 flyers on the court at any given time.

Going through all the rosters in the NBA, I arrived at 3 consensus starters that I didn’t have to think twice about. King James is in the lineup at leaper number 1, with no hesitation whatsoever. Being only 22, it is a near lock he will be on this team for many years to come.

Unanimous starter number 2 is Dwight Howard, eminent big man. When my friends and I were arguing over this fictional team at some point during 4th year at UVA, I can’t remember if I included Howard in my starting lineup or not. If I didn’t, I was a lunatic. Howard is a must start. Kid is an absolute freak of nature and a monster around the rim/volleyball net. 6’11”, 270 lbs, 7’8” wingspan and a 38-inch vertical leap. Dude’s like a freight train coming at you. The other team would have to wear roller blading wrist guards to avoid breaking their wrists if they tried to block a Howard spike. He’s first in the NBA in rebounds and 4th in blocks. He’d be a black hole on the front line. Also only 22, expect many an all NBA Volleyball All Star Team selections for Howard.

My last consensus starter may be controversial, but I didn’t waver a bit. Kobe Bryant is definitely in my top 6. Maybe because he’s been so good for so long, people tend to forget how incredibly athletic Bryant is, with an incredible ability to finish. While LeBron and Howard would throw down vicious spike after vicious spike, Kobe would mix it up with some finesse drop shots and spin finishes. Not to say that Bryant couldn’t throw it down (he is capable of some merciless KO’s), but his versatility around the net would be almost unstoppable. On top of this, Kobe is perhaps the most competitive player in the whole league, and would ride the nonexistent chip on his shoulder and become one of the top 3 volleyball players in the world. Kobe Bryant, Leaper number 2.

Rounding out the leapers, I chose Shawn Marion and Tracy McGrady. Not only is the Matrix one hell of an athlete, but also he may be the most versatile player on the court. His quick hands and ball hawking instinct would be invaluable on defense. His ability to adjust midair would render him never out of position. Plus, you know, he’s a freak athlete who can jump to Mars and slam the ball through the floor. Yeah, that too. Tmac perhaps suffers the same fate as Bryant because he’s been so good for so long. But still only 28, McGrady can definitely still bring it.

As for my set up man, only two people came to mind, Chris Paul and Deron Williams. Both stud young point guards made the team immediately; it was just a question of who was going to start. Paul gets the nod because of his much quicker hands and reflexes. He leads the NBA in steals per game, so if a ball miraculously got past the front line of Howard, LBJ and Kobe, Paul would be better suited to dig it out and keep the play alive. Both Williams and CP3 would be magnificent in setting up the leapers for stupendous kills.

So there you have it. The first annual NBA Volleyball All Star Team starting lineup:

LeBron James
Dwight Howard
Kobe Bryant
Shawn Marion
Tracy McGrady
Chris Paul

What a scary lineup to think about. No doubt the best volleyball team in the world.

As for the 4 reserves, we already know Deron Williams will backup Paul as the setter. Amare Stoudamire is the backup big man. It was only like 2 years ago that Amare was the current Howard, and I believe he can still bring it. The leapers couldn’t be complete without Vince Carter. I know he’s getting older, but there’s no one I would rather have on my bench ready to go in for 5-10 plays a game and go Vinsanity on fools than Carter. Last but not least, I’m going to take a page right out of the Team USA Olympic basketball book and select a young unproven player right out of college as my 10th man. Tyrus Thomas, welcome to the team. This is my Jay Bilas pick, based solely on potential. Thomas is a freak, and if he doesn’t pan out, so what? The other 9 guys would roll through any volleyball competition with their eyes closed.

That’s the team. The all NBA Volleyball All Stars. If you think I’m wrong, which I’m not, I’d still love to hear everyone else’s starting 6 and 4 reserves. Feel free to comment on who you think should be on the team. That way I can laugh at all the delusional lineups that come in.

Aaaaaand I’m spent, that’s it for this week folks. I hope everyone has a great Christmas, and if you are traveling, stay safe. Until next time, stay tuned and slam some bourbon for me. Happy Holidays.