If you are a UVA fan and are unhappy with the way the football season turned out, you are delusional. We had an amazing season, and did just about as well as you possibly could have hoped for. UVA will never contend for national championships, that is just a fact. Since we are never going to go undefeated, a 9-3 season and a trip to a respectable bowl game in Florida on or around New Years (Gator preferably, Champs Sports acceptably) is something to be very thankful for.
The absolutely best case scenario for UVA football is a 10-2 record and a spot in the ACC title game. To think that these dreams lasted until the last game of the season against your biggest rival who is ranked in the Top 10 is all you can hope for.
We played well in the Tech game too; we just lost to a better team who made more big plays. By no means did they dominate the Cavaliers. We had the ball in the 4th quarter, down by 2, and couldn’t take advantage.
To be unhappy with the way the Wahoo football season played out is to be unhappy with life. I don’t want to hear it. We played too well and had too many good things happen to be brought down by a bunch of haters, and UVA nation definitely has their fair share of chuggers. There are plenty of reasons to be happy about this season.
We played 12 regular season games, and only laid an egg in one of them. Wyoming was the only contest that the team just didn’t show up in, and we got the hell beat out of us. But to have a season in which your team had a chance to win in 11 out of 12 games, and to take 9 of them? Incredible. If you root for a good team, and not a great team, all you can ask for is a chance to win, and UVA football gave us that effort in all but one game.
This is especially impressive when you remember that we had just come off of a 5-7 season, had no impact freshman to speak of, and were picked to finish fourth in our division of the conference. Al Groh did a helluva job coaching these boys up, considering it was basically the same roster as last year. UVA has no receivers, so we didn’t try and throw the ball to receivers. Our top 3 pass catchers were Tom Santi, Mikell Simpson and Jonathan Stupar (TE, RB, TE). Groh even had the balls to continue with Simpson after he lit up Maryland for over 250 total yards instead of deferring to an older Andrew Pearman. Groh recognized Simpsoon’s talent in Game Day and stuck with it.
The Cavs finally learned how to finish out close games against inferior opponents. All that matters at the end of the day is a W, that’s what gets you good bowls. Tying a school record for consecutive wins while setting an NCAA record for most wins by 2 points is a great feeling. What does it really mean? A good bowl game. Committees are going to look at our 9 wins, not how we got them.
Watching Chris Long play is an absolute pleasure. It’s not everyday you get to root for a certain top 5 draft pick with a chance make a game changing play every time he’s on the field. The way he single handedly blew up Maryland and won the game for us was one of the few times I’ve been in awe of a defensive players and followed him instead of the ball when the Terps had possession. The shot of the helpless offensive lineman for Maryland slamming his helmet down on the sideline in frustration was such a great image of how good Long is and how bad he got into Maryland’s dome. The Terps QB probably still has nightmares about that hellacious safety. Long is definitely on roids though, good God.
Groh almost gave me a heart attack every time he called shovel pass play to Simpson, although it seemed to work every freakin time. I think the first time I saw it was in the Maryland game, and we ran it from our own 5-yard line, and I almost shat my pants. But it worked, and kept on working, and became one of my favorite plays.
Jameel Sewell is like Marques Hagans 2.0. They are both incredible at avoiding sacks, but Sewell is a better passer and more poised in the pocket. He will wait longer to bail out, and has just about the same scrambling ability as Hagans did. In honor of Doc Walker, I nominate Sewell’s nickname to be The Magician 2.0. I am excited to see what he can do next year with hopefully an upgraded receiving corp with Kevin Ogletree back. Covington is a perfect possession receiver alongside Ogletree’ awesome talent, and you know we will have good tight ends.
Mikell Simpson will be 1st team All ACC by the time he leaves. You heard it here first. So will Jeff Fitzgerald.
Best/corniest game day slogan of the year? UCONN not beat us, seen on countless free buttons before the game against the Huskies. Priceless.
I’m glad I wrote a post about Miami, just for the response it got from brother Bart. If you haven’t seen it, take a look here for a priceless image in your mind. God I wish I had been there.
Well, that about does it. A very successful season in the books, and a bright outlook on next year. I made it to 5 UVA games this year and hope to continue to do much of the same next in the ’08. First priority is getting tickets to the home game against Southern Cal on August 30th. It’s gonna be huge, and everyone should try and make it back. Until next time, hope everyone is doing well as we head into the holid
November 28, 2007
November 21, 2007
R.I.P. Wizards 2007-08 Season
27 minutes after posting my last item, The Oceanliner read that Agent 0 is out for three months after 2 surgeries on his already surgically repaired left knee. Bye bye Wizards season. Hey, I will probably be able to make it to more games now with less ticket competition. I just lost 80% of the reason I'm going to be a Wizards fan. Horrible news.
NBA Musings
This past weekend, The Oceanliner made his triumphant return to the NBA by attending the Wizards-Blazers game on Saturday night. Here are some of the highlights/lowlights.
Freakin Gilbert Arenas didn’t play. 80% of the reason I am trying to become a Wizards fan is because of Agent 0, and he sits out with a bum knee. What a sissy.
Steve Blake started at point guard for Portland. What a joker. Your typical Maryland douchebag who looks like he got hit in the face with a two by four. I was never more comfortable during the game than when Blake jacked up a 3. Instant brick.
Antawn Jamison’s game is still smooth as hell. Dropped 30 and 11 on the Odenless Trail Blazers with an array of jumpers, floaters, slashes and put backs that left me very impressed. Added four treys, 2 assists and a steal with only 1 turnover in 35 minutes of play. He did it so efficiently and seemingly effortlessly too. Great to watch.
We had a Raef LaFrentz sighting! Maybe the highlight of the night. Late in the 4th quarter I see this hulking, awkward white guy lumber onto the floor for the visitors and I think, “Man, I would know that physique anywhere…shit, it’s Raef LaFrentz!”. Talk about stealing a paycheck. Dude’s making $12 million this year coming off the bench for 5 minutes a game! If he continues to average 5.5 minutes a game, he will make $27,584 per minute this year. Absorutery Unbereivable.
Best. Promotion. Ever. During one timeout, the scoreboard started flashing “Chipotle Burrito Dash” and a woman carrying a tray of at least 20 foil wrapped burritos ran out onto center court. Then 10 people wearing Chipotle t-shirts came running out, grabbed 2 or 3 burritos each and started running into the crowd handing out free burritos! That would have made my life. A free Chipotle burrito completely out of nowhere? Heaven. One of the promotion guys even threw a burrito into the crowd. Man, if you were looking and a fatty burrito rocked you in the head, that shit would knock you out. Knock you out with goodness! Zing!
Instead of a burrito, The Oceanliner caught a free t-shirt instead. A horrible downgrade. The shirt is so shoddy and rough that I bet the 13-year-old kid that made it was wearing something more comfortable than the free shirt when it was produced in some South East Asian sweatshop.
Darius Songaila of Wake Forest Fame played 20 minutes for the Wizards. Ouch. They need the Hibachi back, and fast. Songaila is quickly going down the Raef LaFrentz road.
Speaking of ACC scrubs, Brendan Haywood, Jarrett Jack and Roger Mason all played significant minutes in the contest as well, along with Blake and Songaila. It’s all of the ACC I want to forget, yet here they are posing as professional basketball players.
Travis Outlaw came into the game for Portland. The Oceanliner and Schling could not be certain if this was the same person as Bo Outlaw or not. We went with yes. Upon further review, Travis is 23 and indeed plays for the Blazers, while Bo is 36 and is on the Magic. Both are 6-8, 220 pound power forwards with shaved heads. Who knew?
Caron Butler threw down a sweet jam on a breakaway, where he did a one handed slam with his right hand while holding his head with his left, with his elbow pointing out. Very cool.
The Reverend Al Sharpton was at the game, and was shown on the Jumbotron. Priceless
Nationals manager Manny Acta was also at the game, and also shown on the Jumbotron. The hilarious part here was that for the first 5 seconds there was no caption, and everyone in the building was silent while thinking “Who the hell is this clown?”. Then his name appeared and the crowd gave the appropriate applause.
The loudest the crowd got the whole game is when the PA guy showed a Cowboys logo on the Jumbotron.
PA guy strikes again. During one timeout, they did the popular “Kiss Cam” thing, where they show a couple on the Jumbotron and they give each other a quick peck. After about a minute of this, the camera guy zoomed in on the Blazers huddle and showed two players on the kiss cam. Everyone laughed at the poor Blazers. Cheesy, but funny.
Rookie Nick Young out of Southern Cal had 17 points in only 15 minutes off the bench for the former Bullets. He was very impressive, hitting a variety of jumpers, as well as skying for a massive dunk that got the crowd going. He’s going to be good.
NBA crowds are so pathetic compared to their collegiate counterparts. It was like the difference between crowds at Rage Against the Machine and Kenny G concerts.
There were 5 traveling calls in the game. I was stunned. I thought they had stopped calling that. I’ve seen King James take 6 steps and the ref hasn’t even thought about blowing his whistle. Crazy.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening. The Wiz cruised to a 19 point win, and the basketball was entertaining. The Oceanliner will definitely try and make it back to Verizon Center again this year. On deck though is the big one. I will be down in Charlottesville this weekend for the showdown with the Hokies. Give me a shout if you will be in town. I know Eroder, Arod, Austin, Heather and myself will be in attendance. Make it down if you can. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Until next time, stay out of the paint. I keep the purp by the pound.
Freakin Gilbert Arenas didn’t play. 80% of the reason I am trying to become a Wizards fan is because of Agent 0, and he sits out with a bum knee. What a sissy.
Steve Blake started at point guard for Portland. What a joker. Your typical Maryland douchebag who looks like he got hit in the face with a two by four. I was never more comfortable during the game than when Blake jacked up a 3. Instant brick.
Antawn Jamison’s game is still smooth as hell. Dropped 30 and 11 on the Odenless Trail Blazers with an array of jumpers, floaters, slashes and put backs that left me very impressed. Added four treys, 2 assists and a steal with only 1 turnover in 35 minutes of play. He did it so efficiently and seemingly effortlessly too. Great to watch.
We had a Raef LaFrentz sighting! Maybe the highlight of the night. Late in the 4th quarter I see this hulking, awkward white guy lumber onto the floor for the visitors and I think, “Man, I would know that physique anywhere…shit, it’s Raef LaFrentz!”. Talk about stealing a paycheck. Dude’s making $12 million this year coming off the bench for 5 minutes a game! If he continues to average 5.5 minutes a game, he will make $27,584 per minute this year. Absorutery Unbereivable.
Best. Promotion. Ever. During one timeout, the scoreboard started flashing “Chipotle Burrito Dash” and a woman carrying a tray of at least 20 foil wrapped burritos ran out onto center court. Then 10 people wearing Chipotle t-shirts came running out, grabbed 2 or 3 burritos each and started running into the crowd handing out free burritos! That would have made my life. A free Chipotle burrito completely out of nowhere? Heaven. One of the promotion guys even threw a burrito into the crowd. Man, if you were looking and a fatty burrito rocked you in the head, that shit would knock you out. Knock you out with goodness! Zing!
Instead of a burrito, The Oceanliner caught a free t-shirt instead. A horrible downgrade. The shirt is so shoddy and rough that I bet the 13-year-old kid that made it was wearing something more comfortable than the free shirt when it was produced in some South East Asian sweatshop.
Darius Songaila of Wake Forest Fame played 20 minutes for the Wizards. Ouch. They need the Hibachi back, and fast. Songaila is quickly going down the Raef LaFrentz road.
Speaking of ACC scrubs, Brendan Haywood, Jarrett Jack and Roger Mason all played significant minutes in the contest as well, along with Blake and Songaila. It’s all of the ACC I want to forget, yet here they are posing as professional basketball players.
Travis Outlaw came into the game for Portland. The Oceanliner and Schling could not be certain if this was the same person as Bo Outlaw or not. We went with yes. Upon further review, Travis is 23 and indeed plays for the Blazers, while Bo is 36 and is on the Magic. Both are 6-8, 220 pound power forwards with shaved heads. Who knew?
Caron Butler threw down a sweet jam on a breakaway, where he did a one handed slam with his right hand while holding his head with his left, with his elbow pointing out. Very cool.
The Reverend Al Sharpton was at the game, and was shown on the Jumbotron. Priceless
Nationals manager Manny Acta was also at the game, and also shown on the Jumbotron. The hilarious part here was that for the first 5 seconds there was no caption, and everyone in the building was silent while thinking “Who the hell is this clown?”. Then his name appeared and the crowd gave the appropriate applause.
The loudest the crowd got the whole game is when the PA guy showed a Cowboys logo on the Jumbotron.
PA guy strikes again. During one timeout, they did the popular “Kiss Cam” thing, where they show a couple on the Jumbotron and they give each other a quick peck. After about a minute of this, the camera guy zoomed in on the Blazers huddle and showed two players on the kiss cam. Everyone laughed at the poor Blazers. Cheesy, but funny.
Rookie Nick Young out of Southern Cal had 17 points in only 15 minutes off the bench for the former Bullets. He was very impressive, hitting a variety of jumpers, as well as skying for a massive dunk that got the crowd going. He’s going to be good.
NBA crowds are so pathetic compared to their collegiate counterparts. It was like the difference between crowds at Rage Against the Machine and Kenny G concerts.
There were 5 traveling calls in the game. I was stunned. I thought they had stopped calling that. I’ve seen King James take 6 steps and the ref hasn’t even thought about blowing his whistle. Crazy.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening. The Wiz cruised to a 19 point win, and the basketball was entertaining. The Oceanliner will definitely try and make it back to Verizon Center again this year. On deck though is the big one. I will be down in Charlottesville this weekend for the showdown with the Hokies. Give me a shout if you will be in town. I know Eroder, Arod, Austin, Heather and myself will be in attendance. Make it down if you can. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Until next time, stay out of the paint. I keep the purp by the pound.
November 12, 2007
Buuaaaahhhhh at the O.B.
Buuaaaahhhhh! Cmon yall, do it with me now. Buuaaaahhhhh! Knee slap, knee slap. Double clutch now. Bu-bu-buuaaaahhhhh! Knee slap, head roaring back it laughter. That’s the only way to describe the complete and utter ass whooping UVA laid on Miami this weekend. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Total domination for 60 minutes, something I have never seen a Cavalier football team do. And to do it in front of a packed Orange Bowl of 62,106? Unfathomable. We have always sucked playing on the road. We have sucked even more playing in the state of Florida, 0-15 all time before Saturday night.
And believe you me, this crowd was ready for a rampage. The Oceanliner was with Austin, Kyle, Schling, LT and Pwebb tailgating in the Miami student section for about 2 hours before the game, and people were going absolutely insane. EVERYONE was decked out in every piece of Miami gear they owned. People were running around in the streets starting chants. The parking lot we were in was so condensed; it made Foxfields seem like wide-open spaces. I was very impressed. And there was no ill will towards us UVA fans at all. Sure we got the occasional heckle, but no beer baths, curse outs or quasi fights at all. Everyone was just so excited for the game. It did get a little creepy though when a UM fan stood up on his truck waving a UVA flag…and proceeded to set it on fire while thousands of people cheered. Helluva sight though.
This carried over to the pregame ceremony in a big way. The Miami student section was directly across from us and they were going apeshit. I’m not going to lie, I got the chills when smoke filled the inflated Miami helmet and the players stormed out on the field while the fans went ballistic. Very impressive.
But that’s where it ended. 48-0. 2 forced fumbles. 3 interceptions. A blocked punt. 418-189 in total yards. The worst shutout loss in Orange Bowl history. But the thing that shocked me the most was the fact that UVA took the will out of the Miami players. I have NEVER seen the Wahoos do that on a football field. The game was over with 10 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. We took the opening possession of the 2nd half back for a touchdown, and Miami simply gave up. They came out and just ran the ball, using the full huddle the whole time. No sense of urgency. No sense of pride. Resignation.
It was amazing because all the UVA fans could enjoy the rest of the game knowing completely that it was in the bag. It was so serene and so enjoybale.
Needless to say, we all had an awesome time in Miami. And as we conclude for this week, The Oceanliner is proud to add a new segment to the show. I will now be giving out awards for the weekend that was. Drumroll please....
Douchebag of the Week: This one could have gone to any of the hundreds of gel head guidos we saw at the bar on Friday night, but was actually won earlier that morning at the DC airport. Keep in mind that it is 6:30 in the A.M., and this dude shows up wearing flip flops, pure white sweatpants that are cutoff three quarters of the way down his legs (Rafael Nadal style), a gray “Endless Summer Surf Shop” hoodie, a white, wool beanie WITH a bill, and a necklace made of white shells. What a complete loser. What was even more perplexing that that was the fact that he was with an attractive girl dressed like she was going to a business meeting. Meanwhile, he’s day dreaming about the perfect swell he’s going to catch in San Diego later this year, bra. What a joker.
Cultural Identity Crisis of the Week: Our cab driver from the Miami airport to our hotel was named Romulus. Hilarious. A little strange though, he didn’t look very Italian…
Scarface Moment of the Week: At the bar on Friday night, all of the tabletops in the upstairs portion of the bar were mirrors. Yaayooooo!
She Must Not Have Seen Scarface: At the same bar on Friday night, the group The Oceanliner was with watched on incredulously as a girl did a line right off of a table in full view of everyone. We were outside. It was a wooden picnic table. She used a bar straw. *Stunned Silence*
Scarface Moment of the Week 2: Walking the streets of South Beach on Saturday afternoon, we passed a bar that was blasting I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls.
Celebrity Sighting of the Week: On Saturday afternoon, The Oceanliner rode in the same elevator as ESPN college football sideline girl Stacy Dales at our hotel. I wasn’t sure at the time if it was she, so I remained silent. When I saw her at the game on the sideline wearing the same clothes, it was confirmed. Main point here: The Oceanliner is a coward.
Double Standard of the Week: At the O.B., police were scanning people with a hand held metal detector at the student entrance to the stadium. At a different general admission gate, The Oceanliner walked in the O.B. untouched with a full metal flask in his pocket.
Paris Hilton Moment of the Week: On the way to lunch on Saturday, we crossed a street called Dildo Drive.
Hardass of the Week: Miami Airport, Sunday morning, 8:30 AM. I am standing in line to get a Gatorade at an Au Bon Pain in the concourse. Guy in front of me? Rocks a Heineken and a Boston Creme Pie Donut. H.A.R.D.A.S.S.
Engrish Moment of the Week: This one came completely out of nowhere, which made it all the more hilarious. On Sunday, The Oceanliner and Beercan were watching the FOX football postgame show and host Curt Menefee was finishing up a segment with “NFL Insider” Jay Glazer. Glazer had just ended a piece by saying how the 49ers would no doubt be playing with a lot of emotion on Monday night after the death of current head coach Mike Nolan’s father, who had also coached 9ers. Trying to agree with Glazer, Menefee wholeheartedly said “Oh, absodutely” instead of “Oh, absolutely”. Beercan and I gave each other confused looks, and wondered what Menefee had actually said. But then we rewound the segment and listened to it about 4 or 5 times in rolling laughter as Menefee said “Oh, absodutely” over and over. Priceless. I am so easily entertained. And TIVO is amazing.
Well, that’s it for this week. After being to New York and Miami within the past 10 days, The Oceanliner will absolutely be docked at home this entire weekend, no doubt thinking up more terrible puns like the one just mentioned. Not that it wasn’t worth it though; I’ve had an unbelievable time over the past two weeks. Looks like Austin and I made it to the Big Apple just in time too. The show we saw (Wicked) has just been shut down by striking stagehands, less than a week after we saw it. As is quickly becoming the slogan of The Oceanliner, you can’t make this shit up. I hope everyone is doing well out there, keep it real. Until next time, keep your pants buckled. Yaayoooo!
And believe you me, this crowd was ready for a rampage. The Oceanliner was with Austin, Kyle, Schling, LT and Pwebb tailgating in the Miami student section for about 2 hours before the game, and people were going absolutely insane. EVERYONE was decked out in every piece of Miami gear they owned. People were running around in the streets starting chants. The parking lot we were in was so condensed; it made Foxfields seem like wide-open spaces. I was very impressed. And there was no ill will towards us UVA fans at all. Sure we got the occasional heckle, but no beer baths, curse outs or quasi fights at all. Everyone was just so excited for the game. It did get a little creepy though when a UM fan stood up on his truck waving a UVA flag…and proceeded to set it on fire while thousands of people cheered. Helluva sight though.
This carried over to the pregame ceremony in a big way. The Miami student section was directly across from us and they were going apeshit. I’m not going to lie, I got the chills when smoke filled the inflated Miami helmet and the players stormed out on the field while the fans went ballistic. Very impressive.
But that’s where it ended. 48-0. 2 forced fumbles. 3 interceptions. A blocked punt. 418-189 in total yards. The worst shutout loss in Orange Bowl history. But the thing that shocked me the most was the fact that UVA took the will out of the Miami players. I have NEVER seen the Wahoos do that on a football field. The game was over with 10 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. We took the opening possession of the 2nd half back for a touchdown, and Miami simply gave up. They came out and just ran the ball, using the full huddle the whole time. No sense of urgency. No sense of pride. Resignation.
It was amazing because all the UVA fans could enjoy the rest of the game knowing completely that it was in the bag. It was so serene and so enjoybale.
Needless to say, we all had an awesome time in Miami. And as we conclude for this week, The Oceanliner is proud to add a new segment to the show. I will now be giving out awards for the weekend that was. Drumroll please....
Douchebag of the Week: This one could have gone to any of the hundreds of gel head guidos we saw at the bar on Friday night, but was actually won earlier that morning at the DC airport. Keep in mind that it is 6:30 in the A.M., and this dude shows up wearing flip flops, pure white sweatpants that are cutoff three quarters of the way down his legs (Rafael Nadal style), a gray “Endless Summer Surf Shop” hoodie, a white, wool beanie WITH a bill, and a necklace made of white shells. What a complete loser. What was even more perplexing that that was the fact that he was with an attractive girl dressed like she was going to a business meeting. Meanwhile, he’s day dreaming about the perfect swell he’s going to catch in San Diego later this year, bra. What a joker.
Cultural Identity Crisis of the Week: Our cab driver from the Miami airport to our hotel was named Romulus. Hilarious. A little strange though, he didn’t look very Italian…
Scarface Moment of the Week: At the bar on Friday night, all of the tabletops in the upstairs portion of the bar were mirrors. Yaayooooo!
She Must Not Have Seen Scarface: At the same bar on Friday night, the group The Oceanliner was with watched on incredulously as a girl did a line right off of a table in full view of everyone. We were outside. It was a wooden picnic table. She used a bar straw. *Stunned Silence*
Scarface Moment of the Week 2: Walking the streets of South Beach on Saturday afternoon, we passed a bar that was blasting I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls.
Celebrity Sighting of the Week: On Saturday afternoon, The Oceanliner rode in the same elevator as ESPN college football sideline girl Stacy Dales at our hotel. I wasn’t sure at the time if it was she, so I remained silent. When I saw her at the game on the sideline wearing the same clothes, it was confirmed. Main point here: The Oceanliner is a coward.
Double Standard of the Week: At the O.B., police were scanning people with a hand held metal detector at the student entrance to the stadium. At a different general admission gate, The Oceanliner walked in the O.B. untouched with a full metal flask in his pocket.
Paris Hilton Moment of the Week: On the way to lunch on Saturday, we crossed a street called Dildo Drive.
Hardass of the Week: Miami Airport, Sunday morning, 8:30 AM. I am standing in line to get a Gatorade at an Au Bon Pain in the concourse. Guy in front of me? Rocks a Heineken and a Boston Creme Pie Donut. H.A.R.D.A.S.S.
Engrish Moment of the Week: This one came completely out of nowhere, which made it all the more hilarious. On Sunday, The Oceanliner and Beercan were watching the FOX football postgame show and host Curt Menefee was finishing up a segment with “NFL Insider” Jay Glazer. Glazer had just ended a piece by saying how the 49ers would no doubt be playing with a lot of emotion on Monday night after the death of current head coach Mike Nolan’s father, who had also coached 9ers. Trying to agree with Glazer, Menefee wholeheartedly said “Oh, absodutely” instead of “Oh, absolutely”. Beercan and I gave each other confused looks, and wondered what Menefee had actually said. But then we rewound the segment and listened to it about 4 or 5 times in rolling laughter as Menefee said “Oh, absodutely” over and over. Priceless. I am so easily entertained. And TIVO is amazing.
Well, that’s it for this week. After being to New York and Miami within the past 10 days, The Oceanliner will absolutely be docked at home this entire weekend, no doubt thinking up more terrible puns like the one just mentioned. Not that it wasn’t worth it though; I’ve had an unbelievable time over the past two weeks. Looks like Austin and I made it to the Big Apple just in time too. The show we saw (Wicked) has just been shut down by striking stagehands, less than a week after we saw it. As is quickly becoming the slogan of The Oceanliner, you can’t make this shit up. I hope everyone is doing well out there, keep it real. Until next time, keep your pants buckled. Yaayoooo!
November 07, 2007
Inside The Numbers
I’m not going to lie, I am a stat geek. I love perusing through box scores to see all of the varied stat lines. This is true of almost all sports, even ones that I don’t like watching. I can’t stand watching the NBA, but I love going through the box scores every morning to see all of the varied combinations that are possible with basketball. This might be why I’m loving my Fantasy Basketball League, even though I probably won’t watch a full game until the playoffs, and maybe not even then.
This weekend in college football provided some astounding statistics, and I will share them, and my reaction to them, here.
Miami QB Kirby Freeman
1-14, 84 yds, 1 TD, 3 INT
This one is truly amazing. Not just the fact that Freeman’s only completion was an 84-yard touchdown pass. And not just the fact that he completed more passes to the other team than to his own. It’s simply unbelievable that when your quarterback completes three times as many passes to the opposing defense than to your own receivers that the game still went into overtime. Miami lost 19-16 to NC State in overtime, and to still have a chance to win when your quarterback has a completion percentage of 7 freaking percent is truly mind-boggling. But hey, when you rush sixty times for 314 yards (using 5 backs who each got more than 5 carries), it’ll probably keep you in any contest.
South Florida commits 8 turnovers in a loss against Cincinnati
Again, you have to look deeper to see how this statistic becomes incredulous. It’s not the fact that the Bulls gave the ball away 8 times, I’m sure that this has happened before. It’s the fact that USF committed 8 turnovers and still scored 33 points and only lost by 5! It takes some serious wackiness for this to occur, and indeed it was provided. Like for instance, scoring 14 points before your offense even takes the field, which is exactly what South Florida did. On Cincinnati’s first possession, the Bulls returned a pick 63 yards to the house. The Bearcats responded with a touchdown drive of their own, only to see the ensuing kickoffs get run back, you guessed it, to the house. After 5 minutes, it was 14-7 USF, and their offense hadn’t even touched the field yet. Their sequence of possessions for the rest of the game is baffling.
Punt, Interception, Fumble, Fumble, Interception, Field Goal, Interception, Punt, Field Goal, Fumble, Touchdown, Punt, Punt, Interception, Touchdown.
Imagine the South Florida coach saying something like this after the game:
“You know, if we had only turned the ball over 5 or 6 times in this game, we would have had this one easy”
And it would have been true. Imagine how pissed off South Florida’s defense is too. They even scored a touchdown, but watched their offense turn the ball over eight times, including a pick 6 and a blocked punt for a touchdown.
I honestly spent half an hour looking at this box score, and still am not sure I completely understand it.
Arkansas rushes for 542 yards against South Carolina
Absorutery Unberievable. This cannot happen in the SEC, but it did. Again, looking at the details makes it all the more grizzly/astonishing/mind blowing. We have all seen how Darren McFadden (the next Adrian Peterson by the way, he’s going to light up the NFL so bad) had 321 yards on the ground, tying an SEC record. How about backup Felix Jones netting 166 on just 13 carries. Dude had touchdown runs of 7, 40 and 72 yards. No, what’s most ridiculous is that the team averaged 9.3 yards per carry…on 58 carries!!!!!! South Carolina gained 125 yards on the ground, yet had a quarter of the Hogs total. Arkansas’ longest pass went for 35 yards. They had 4 rushes that went 35 yards or more.
McFadden and Jones are 1-2 in the SEC in rushing and both are over 1,000 yards. Jones is averaging 9.3 yards per carry…on 111 carries!!!! Insane. McFadden has 250 more rushing yards than the Arkansas quarterback, Casey Dick, has passing. And Jones is only 30 yards rushing behind what Dick has passing. At the end of the year, Arkansas might have two running backs with more yards running that their quarterback has thrown. N.u.t.s.
Random Note of Hilarity 1:
The Oceanliner and Austin rocked the Big Apple this weekend, and it was the titties. On Friday night, we were taking a cab home, and the driver realizes he has missed a turn. Does he go around the block? Hell no. Instead, he throws it in reverse and hightails it backwards on a one-way street for two blocks while I’m busy shitting my pants.
Random Note of Hilarity 2:
The Oceanliner walked out of his room this morning to find Beercan Potts watching Saved By The Bell before he left for work. And of course it was on TBS.
Well folks, that’s it for this week. Austin, Schling, Kyle and I will be heading to Miami on Friday, to hopefully represent the Wahoos well in the last game in the OB. I hope something ridiculous happens, and I hope I don’t get hurt. Until next time, keep it real and stay tuned. Twenty-Inch Blades.
This weekend in college football provided some astounding statistics, and I will share them, and my reaction to them, here.
Miami QB Kirby Freeman
1-14, 84 yds, 1 TD, 3 INT
This one is truly amazing. Not just the fact that Freeman’s only completion was an 84-yard touchdown pass. And not just the fact that he completed more passes to the other team than to his own. It’s simply unbelievable that when your quarterback completes three times as many passes to the opposing defense than to your own receivers that the game still went into overtime. Miami lost 19-16 to NC State in overtime, and to still have a chance to win when your quarterback has a completion percentage of 7 freaking percent is truly mind-boggling. But hey, when you rush sixty times for 314 yards (using 5 backs who each got more than 5 carries), it’ll probably keep you in any contest.
South Florida commits 8 turnovers in a loss against Cincinnati
Again, you have to look deeper to see how this statistic becomes incredulous. It’s not the fact that the Bulls gave the ball away 8 times, I’m sure that this has happened before. It’s the fact that USF committed 8 turnovers and still scored 33 points and only lost by 5! It takes some serious wackiness for this to occur, and indeed it was provided. Like for instance, scoring 14 points before your offense even takes the field, which is exactly what South Florida did. On Cincinnati’s first possession, the Bulls returned a pick 63 yards to the house. The Bearcats responded with a touchdown drive of their own, only to see the ensuing kickoffs get run back, you guessed it, to the house. After 5 minutes, it was 14-7 USF, and their offense hadn’t even touched the field yet. Their sequence of possessions for the rest of the game is baffling.
Punt, Interception, Fumble, Fumble, Interception, Field Goal, Interception, Punt, Field Goal, Fumble, Touchdown, Punt, Punt, Interception, Touchdown.
Imagine the South Florida coach saying something like this after the game:
“You know, if we had only turned the ball over 5 or 6 times in this game, we would have had this one easy”
And it would have been true. Imagine how pissed off South Florida’s defense is too. They even scored a touchdown, but watched their offense turn the ball over eight times, including a pick 6 and a blocked punt for a touchdown.
I honestly spent half an hour looking at this box score, and still am not sure I completely understand it.
Arkansas rushes for 542 yards against South Carolina
Absorutery Unberievable. This cannot happen in the SEC, but it did. Again, looking at the details makes it all the more grizzly/astonishing/mind blowing. We have all seen how Darren McFadden (the next Adrian Peterson by the way, he’s going to light up the NFL so bad) had 321 yards on the ground, tying an SEC record. How about backup Felix Jones netting 166 on just 13 carries. Dude had touchdown runs of 7, 40 and 72 yards. No, what’s most ridiculous is that the team averaged 9.3 yards per carry…on 58 carries!!!!!! South Carolina gained 125 yards on the ground, yet had a quarter of the Hogs total. Arkansas’ longest pass went for 35 yards. They had 4 rushes that went 35 yards or more.
McFadden and Jones are 1-2 in the SEC in rushing and both are over 1,000 yards. Jones is averaging 9.3 yards per carry…on 111 carries!!!! Insane. McFadden has 250 more rushing yards than the Arkansas quarterback, Casey Dick, has passing. And Jones is only 30 yards rushing behind what Dick has passing. At the end of the year, Arkansas might have two running backs with more yards running that their quarterback has thrown. N.u.t.s.
Random Note of Hilarity 1:
The Oceanliner and Austin rocked the Big Apple this weekend, and it was the titties. On Friday night, we were taking a cab home, and the driver realizes he has missed a turn. Does he go around the block? Hell no. Instead, he throws it in reverse and hightails it backwards on a one-way street for two blocks while I’m busy shitting my pants.
Random Note of Hilarity 2:
The Oceanliner walked out of his room this morning to find Beercan Potts watching Saved By The Bell before he left for work. And of course it was on TBS.
Well folks, that’s it for this week. Austin, Schling, Kyle and I will be heading to Miami on Friday, to hopefully represent the Wahoos well in the last game in the OB. I hope something ridiculous happens, and I hope I don’t get hurt. Until next time, keep it real and stay tuned. Twenty-Inch Blades.
November 01, 2007
Red Sox Douche Nation
I don’t know what is more annoying to me right now, Red Sox fans or Red Sox players. All of them have honestly become just absolutely unbearable. They were fine up until 2004 when they won the World Series. I mean, it was pretty hard to really hate on a whole state when they had been down for 86 years. That kind of hatred could only be inflicted by Yankees fans, whose chants of “1918” were so poignant and malicious that it brought about chills. It was as if a knife wound was being prodded with every round.
The Sox were a feel good story after their World Series victory, but it only took about 10 minutes for their fans to start being the most annoying in sports. I can only hear so many “We are sooo wicked awesome!” chants and belly cries. They have started to act like the Yankees, but without their awesome pedigree. Yankee fans are arrogant, confident and know a lot about baseball. This comes with 26 World Series. I respect Yankees fans. They wear their gear but don’t shove it down your throat.
Red Sox fans on the other hand, haven’t been able to stop talking about the Sawx and how awesome they are for almost 3 years now. What’s even more annoying than Red Sox fans are fake Red Sox fans that have no affiliation with the team but root for them anyway. I witnessed this first hand on Saturday night when I was at a sports bar watching the UVA-Maryland football game, unfortunately at the same time as Game 7 of the ALCS. The place was packed with feuax Sox fans, all clad in their gear and pretending they were from Boston, while most likely from Allentown or Scranton or some other terrible city.
So I looked around and thought to myself, “Man, all of these Red Sox fans are either busted, pizza faced, chubs mcgee girls or huge douche bag dudes with too much gel and cologne.” And all of them would walk around screaming, “God the Sawx are so awesome!” and “Hey, everyone, you need to realize how awesome the Red Sox are!” and “Look at me! I’m a true Red Sox fan! We can act like Yankees fans even though since 1918 they’ve won 24 more World Series than us!”
In fact, all of the Sox fans in the bar looked like these miserable people.
It’s not even the Sox fans that have become terrible; it’s their players as well. And there is no player more fitting of the annoying Red Sox bandwagon than leadoff hitter Dustin Pedroia. Watching him play baseball makes me hope I never have to be in the same room as him, as I cannot imagine anything more annoying. Let’s examine the diminutive Mr. Pedroia.
A hemp necklace? Seriously? As a major league baseball player? Cmon, Dustin. C’mon buddy. This isn’t early high school anymore. You’re not going surfing after the game and nobody buys that you’re a hippy. It’s time to move on. But then we see ace Josh Bekcett and…
You’ve got to be shitting me. Three hemp necklaces around his neck, and it looks like they are rocking him in the face. Sweet soul path too, loser. Are Beckett and Pedroia going to go get high in their basement after the game? Start a grunge band? Denounce corporate America? It amazes me that two grown men would go out in public still rockin a douche tastic hemp necklace, much less on national TV. At least they don’t have a guy on their team who…
Sports terrible facial hair…Damnit Big Papi. What a horrible beard. Scratch that, it doesn’t even deserve to be called a beard. The horrendous alignment of Ortiz’s facial hair is a disgrace to everyone who has ever tried to grow a beard but couldn’t (Tyler). Memo to Big Papi: Baron Davis’s beard would annex yours in second if it wanted too.
Davis’ beard definitely belongs in the Sports Beard Hall of Fame, along with every hockey player who ever made the playoffs. Which is where uber-douche Kevin Youklis comes in. Youk apparently thought he was a hockey player when he let this road kill grow on his face. Nobody wants to see a hedgehog attacking an already ugly ass mug. And with a nomination for Biggest Tool Picture of the Year Award, its Youklis and Pedroia together!
Wow, so awkward, so full of used douches. Finally there is Manny Ramirez, who looks like he’ll be joining Pedroia and Beckett in the basement to get high.
Hell, they can probably smoke an ounce of Manny’s hair and get stoned as bejeezus. But I can’t hate on Manny too much. All the dude does is straight up mash the ball, all day every day.
Why am I writing all about the Red Sox you may ask? Well the whole point of this post was to get to the fact that the name of the home plate umpire for Game 7 of the ALCS was Randy Marsh. The same Randy Marsh who delights on South Park every week. That’s all I really wanted to say, I thought it was funny. Here are the two Randy Marshes, both doing what they do best.
Well, that concludes the Oceanliner for this week. The Oceanliner and Austin will be rockin New York City this weekend, so hopefully hilarity will ensue and it will be made public. And as always, keep it real and stay tuned. Yellow, white, red brown…
The Sox were a feel good story after their World Series victory, but it only took about 10 minutes for their fans to start being the most annoying in sports. I can only hear so many “We are sooo wicked awesome!” chants and belly cries. They have started to act like the Yankees, but without their awesome pedigree. Yankee fans are arrogant, confident and know a lot about baseball. This comes with 26 World Series. I respect Yankees fans. They wear their gear but don’t shove it down your throat.
Red Sox fans on the other hand, haven’t been able to stop talking about the Sawx and how awesome they are for almost 3 years now. What’s even more annoying than Red Sox fans are fake Red Sox fans that have no affiliation with the team but root for them anyway. I witnessed this first hand on Saturday night when I was at a sports bar watching the UVA-Maryland football game, unfortunately at the same time as Game 7 of the ALCS. The place was packed with feuax Sox fans, all clad in their gear and pretending they were from Boston, while most likely from Allentown or Scranton or some other terrible city.
So I looked around and thought to myself, “Man, all of these Red Sox fans are either busted, pizza faced, chubs mcgee girls or huge douche bag dudes with too much gel and cologne.” And all of them would walk around screaming, “God the Sawx are so awesome!” and “Hey, everyone, you need to realize how awesome the Red Sox are!” and “Look at me! I’m a true Red Sox fan! We can act like Yankees fans even though since 1918 they’ve won 24 more World Series than us!”
In fact, all of the Sox fans in the bar looked like these miserable people.
It’s not even the Sox fans that have become terrible; it’s their players as well. And there is no player more fitting of the annoying Red Sox bandwagon than leadoff hitter Dustin Pedroia. Watching him play baseball makes me hope I never have to be in the same room as him, as I cannot imagine anything more annoying. Let’s examine the diminutive Mr. Pedroia.
A hemp necklace? Seriously? As a major league baseball player? Cmon, Dustin. C’mon buddy. This isn’t early high school anymore. You’re not going surfing after the game and nobody buys that you’re a hippy. It’s time to move on. But then we see ace Josh Bekcett and…
You’ve got to be shitting me. Three hemp necklaces around his neck, and it looks like they are rocking him in the face. Sweet soul path too, loser. Are Beckett and Pedroia going to go get high in their basement after the game? Start a grunge band? Denounce corporate America? It amazes me that two grown men would go out in public still rockin a douche tastic hemp necklace, much less on national TV. At least they don’t have a guy on their team who…
Sports terrible facial hair…Damnit Big Papi. What a horrible beard. Scratch that, it doesn’t even deserve to be called a beard. The horrendous alignment of Ortiz’s facial hair is a disgrace to everyone who has ever tried to grow a beard but couldn’t (Tyler). Memo to Big Papi: Baron Davis’s beard would annex yours in second if it wanted too.
Davis’ beard definitely belongs in the Sports Beard Hall of Fame, along with every hockey player who ever made the playoffs. Which is where uber-douche Kevin Youklis comes in. Youk apparently thought he was a hockey player when he let this road kill grow on his face. Nobody wants to see a hedgehog attacking an already ugly ass mug. And with a nomination for Biggest Tool Picture of the Year Award, its Youklis and Pedroia together!
Wow, so awkward, so full of used douches. Finally there is Manny Ramirez, who looks like he’ll be joining Pedroia and Beckett in the basement to get high.
Hell, they can probably smoke an ounce of Manny’s hair and get stoned as bejeezus. But I can’t hate on Manny too much. All the dude does is straight up mash the ball, all day every day.
Why am I writing all about the Red Sox you may ask? Well the whole point of this post was to get to the fact that the name of the home plate umpire for Game 7 of the ALCS was Randy Marsh. The same Randy Marsh who delights on South Park every week. That’s all I really wanted to say, I thought it was funny. Here are the two Randy Marshes, both doing what they do best.
Well, that concludes the Oceanliner for this week. The Oceanliner and Austin will be rockin New York City this weekend, so hopefully hilarity will ensue and it will be made public. And as always, keep it real and stay tuned. Yellow, white, red brown…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
