Saved By Zero

Saved by zero. Saaaved by zero. Saaaved by zeeero. Toyota is doing some pretty effective marketing getting that song into my head when promoting their zero percent financing. And by effective I mean painstakingly annoying with the result of me wanting to throw a chair through my TV every time I hear it. The way the dude sings it makes it sound like the most important announcement made in the last 20 years, yet it couldn’t be more pointless. It didn’t help that they played that ad seemingly every commercial break during Saturday’s slate of college football. Give me peace. Give me savior. Not saaavvveed byyyyy zeroooooo.

The amount of over coverage and shameless self promotion reached a new low on Monday Night Countdown this week. By my count, there were nine people breaking down the action before the Colts-Titans game. Nine! Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Ditka and Chris Carter were in the studio. Then they panned to a different part of the studio to get Trent Dilfer’s opinion. Then they went to Stuart Scott, Emmitt Smith and Steve Young who were at the game to get their opinions. Plus I’m sure they cut to Mort at some point for an injury update, that was probably wrong. Mort is always wrong. Jay Glazer at Fox routinely kicks Mort’s ass in delivering breaking news. This is on top of the overcrowded game call booth of Mike Tirico, Jaws and Tony Kornheiser. Don’t forget the two sideline reporters ESPN has for the game (one for each team of course), Suzy Kolber and Michelle Tafoya. And last but not least let’s remember that PTI broadcasts live from the site of MNF on Mondays, so Mike Wilbon was there too. I don’t even know what to say. I wonder how much time, effort and money ESPN wastes on this one program. Astounding.

Hey Glubiak, you having trouble remembering the URL of this blog? It’s not that hard. You see, my handy Site Meter tells me where people see my site from and what they search for. A couple times over the past three weeks there have been searches for “oceanliner, oelschlager” from South Royalton, Vermont. Vermont Law School happens to be in South Royalton, Vermont. Gee, I wonder who that could be. I'm keepin my eye on all of you.

With my 49ers falling into oblivion again, its time to look back at the 2005 NFL Draft to see where it all went wrong, when the 9ers wasted the number 1 overall pick on Tiny Hands Alex Smith. But then when you look back on it, you realize it was just a horrendous first round worth of talent. The 49ers just got bad luck in drawing the top pick in an off year. That’s no excuse though, they still chose horribly. But seriously, look at the top 10 picks from ’05:

Tiny Hands
Ronnie Brown
Braylon Edwards
Cedric “The Drunk Boater” Benson
Cadillac “Buick” Williams
Pacman Jones
Troy Williamson
Antrel Rolle
Carlos Rogers
Mike Williams

Woof. That’s like drawing first dibs on digging through trash. Before that years draft I was pissed that Matt Leinart returned for his senior year at USC instead of declaring for the draft and going number 1 to the 49ers. Now that he sucks too, the cold shoulder doesn’t sting as much.

So I took my car in for a safety inspection and oil change earlier this week. Afterwards, I pulled onto the highway and got up to cruising speed, when suddenly my car hit a pothole and the hood bounced up and down a little bit right in front of me. The dude at the shop had forgotten to latch my hood, and here I am hauling ass at 70 mph about to pull a Tommy Boy. This is not good. Fortunately there was an exit very close by and I pulled off and latched the hood. But good God. Safety inspection. Pffft, more like anti-safety inspection.

Zing!

Well, that’s it for this week folks. Saaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeeeeeeddddd byyyyyyyy zeeeeeeeeeee-rooooooooooooooo!