November 19, 2008

Fashion Statement

Well, it’s that time of year again. College basketball season to be exact, when silly undergraduates annually look retarded by wearing XXXL t-shirts under their uniform. I caught my first glimpse of this train wreck last night while watching the Carolina-Kentucky game. Here is Ed Davis, prized freshman forward, playing for the number one team in the country, at home against a storied opponent in prime time…looking like a Busch league middle school kid wearing his lucky t-shirt under his jersey.

C’mon man, pull yourself together. There is a reason the NBA doesn’t let its players wear t-shirts under their jerseys. It looks stupid and immature. You are not in high school anymore buddy. I see it across most college teams in the country, and I wish it would end.

Now if Ed decides to get fashion advice from a teammate, it certainly shouldn’t be from Tyler Hansbrough. Pyscho T was rocking a black pinstripe suit with one of those trendy black business t-shirts while riding the bench last night, and well, it didn’t look good.

I don’t know if it was the colors, the Tiger Woods t-shirt, or the haircut, but it wasn’t flattering. Marcus Ginyard, sitting next to Hansbrough and also out injured, managed to put himself together quite nicely. Hansbrough just looks lost.

What do you think those two white guys are saying to each other next to Ginyard?

“Oh shit, the black guy is looking at us, don’t move”

or…

“Man, I gotta take a wicked dump, but we still got 15 minutes until halftime”

or maybe…

“How do you get your hair so silly smooth but still have so much volume at the same time?”

and finally…

“Tell me when that lady behind us looks away. She’s freaking me out with that botox grin plastered on her face”

Since this post has degenerated into a fashion critique (happy Austin?), I might as well bring up the “barista” at my local Starbucks who apparently doesn’t believe in belts. Seriously, every time I go in there the dude has his ‘Bucks “polo” shirt tucked into khakis with no belt on. C’mon, buddy, get with the program. Not only does it look stupid not wearing a belt, but it serves a valuable purpose, and this dudes pants are falling down.

I went and saw Quantum of Solace on Monday night, and it was hella badass. Daniel Craig is an awesome, hardass Bond who just loves to wreck people. And as we continue to walk down this fashion runway (runway, get it?), I must say I saw my vision of Rugged Luxury up on the screen. James Bond IS Rugged Luxury, and it is plenty obvious in the new movie. The costume designers must have read my post on J. Oelschlager and applied it to their creation of the Bond wardrobe. There’s no other way to explain it. When J. Oelschlager gets up and running, it will definitely be the official Bond wardrobe partner. Hell, the movie makers will probably pay me to dress Bond.

I finish this week with one of the more unbelievable anecdotes ever listed in this blog, but unfortunately you must be a UVA connoisseur to fully appreciate it. I was sitting around on Sunday afternoon when I got a text from a coworker of mine who was down in Charlottesville for the Hoos home basketball opener against VMI. It read:

Singing the national anthem…Benny Dodd.

I was flabbergasted. Floored. Stunned. The fact that the one and only Benny Dodd was honoring America at a UVA basketball game blew me away. I could maybe understand in February in the dog days of ACC play, if Littlepage got Dodd to do the national anthem because there was no one with a good voice within 20 miles of Charlottesville and tip-off was in 10 minutes. But this was the home opener! Benny Dodd! Well we know he wasn’t hard to find, all they had to do was go to Coupes. I immediately sprang to my phone and let everyone know and got these hilarious responses

From Rubiak; I hope that’s a good omen for our season but all signs point to definitely not

And from Eroder; He probably sang 8 words of it and let the crowd sing the rest

Maybe the funniest part is that I was told Benny didn’t even have his trusty guitar with him out there, he was just belting the anthem out!. I can’t even imagine the reaction of people there who didn’t know who Dodd was.

*For those who don’t know, Benny Dodd is a 400 pound, mammoth, waste of a man who has been playing cover songs (poorly, I might add) at the same small, completely underage bar in Charlottesville for the last 20 years.

Well, that’s it for this week folks. Godspeed.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel I must comment on Hansbrough's outfit as well, as I first noticed it when he accepted the Player of the Year award last year. His jacket must have about 15 buttons. I know that multi-button jackets are ideal for taller people, but really? That is unnecessary. The only think worse would be one of those that are commonly seen among pro athletes that button nearly all the way to the top and have no lapel, making the wearer look like some kind oriental ninja master.

Somebody dress him up in something fabulous next time.

Unknown said...

I won't touch your fashion analysis - way to mail it in. However, I want to share that Benny Dodd grabbed Dylan's junk at Littlejohn's our third year. I also had the good fortune of catching a cab ride from him my first year. As I settled into my seat, he turned and yelled, "Are you as drunk as I am!?" and floored it. Good times.

Anonymous said...

Damn Old. You really took it to Benny.

Hansbrough is the biggest douche in the world. I had a chance to run him over when I was in Chapel Hill a few weeks ago .. I should have taken it.

Unknown said...

I haven't read the blog in a while but my lame attempt to abuse "godspeed" in a conversation with J. Oelschlager reminded me to check it out. I am not only incredibly impressed, but also beyond ecstatic to see fashion commentary. I agree on all counts and would also like to point out the bloomer effect fully present in the photo: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/85948-college-basketball-floors-are-catwalks-for-bloomer-fashions