Ribrary Courts: Two Thumbs Down

Over the weekend I decided to see if the glorious building we all know and love as Ribrary Courts had a website of its own. Surely such a site would add much hilarity to its already growing legend. Alas, the “management” of Ribrary Courts has not taken advantage of the World Wide Web, as there is no official site for the building (besides The Oceanliner of course). What came up on the Google search however, might be even funnier. Apparently there are sites on the web that you can go on and review an apartment building that you have lived in. You can grade the building on things such as parking, office staff, maintenance and safety. Two sites of this nature (apartmentratings.com and apartment reviews.com) had pages devoted to Ribrary Courts, and the results were preposterous. Apparently my roommates and I were not the first people to notice how ridiculous the building and management team are. Remember how I’ve been saying that we have only had hilarious stuff happen to us and it was just a matter of time until we got screwed? Well, the people that have written these posts are definitely the ones that have gotten screwed. For starters, let’s take a look at some of the titles of the reviews that have been posted:

Terrible Place

Nice building but AWFUL management

And my personal favorite…

If you want to get abused by management, move here

This is not good. I haven’t even read any of the comments and the sinking feeling in my stomach returns as I realize I have 9 more months of contractually obligated living time in Ribrary Courts. That is of course, if we don’t get evicted for living illegally, which we’re doing by having two people live in bedrooms without windows. Oh wait, let me go to a reviewer with analysis on this front:

While the apartments are advertised as 3 br, they actually only have one legal bedroom. I lived in the "breakfast nook", and another roomamte lived in the den.

By the way, I live in the Breakfast Nook and Beercan lives in the Den. We fought for hours over the proper titles that we could call our rooms, but I emerged victiorious and asserted my claim as King of the Breakfast Nook. But let’s not get lost in all this dilly dally and get back to Ebert and Roeper. Let’s get to the heart of the reviews, the section on management. Again, as I say a lot in this space, you can’t make this shit up. Drumroll please…

I've lived in the building since it was constructed, but the change in management companies is making me leave.

I have lived in the building for more than three years and decided to move out after constant turn over of the office management, poor service, disrespectful attitude, and high regulation within the apartment complex. Bottom line: while Library courts seems like a good deal (for Ballston) save your money and go elsewhere.

Ouch. Two strikes right off the bat. This isn’t looking good. But let’s see how the train wreck unfolds…

The management was mediocre at best. They only maintain office hours from 9-5 Monday through Friday, and even during those hours they often didn't pick up the phone or were not around.

The parking garage doors were broken a lot too, letting anyone come and go from the garage/ building.

We had some problems with hot water as well. We went an entire week taking cold showers, and for about a month after that it would be hot and cold sporadically.

Whiff, whiff whiff! Management is pitching a perfect game! My roommates and I have already had trouble with the hot water, I can’t wait until it craps out in the middle of winter. Pushing onward…

Management has initiated a series of ridiculous rules and policies that are onerous. They have also started nickel and diming every aspect of the building...want to swim in the pool, you now pay a fee (per person); pay with more than one check, pay a fee; want to put furniture on your balcony, pay a fine if it's not within the declared "bronze" scheme. And good luck getting anyone to reply to repeated messages, they don't even bother to address problems with the apartment.

Zing! This reviewer killed 3 birds with one post. Now we get to the people that are really pissed off. I hope Ceejay never has to meet these people’s wrath:

Do not move in here!!! The staff is horrible and extremely rude. They may unexpectedly "adjust" your lease. Even if you pay for parking ($70 a month, not cheap) they will accidentally tow your car and not reimburse you. Awful place to live.

And the number 1 most scathing review goes to…Well I don’t know their name, but here it is. Priceless.

The lobby is nice and the apartments themselves are nice. Don't let this fool you though. Every aspect of this apartment is ruled over by totalitarian like policies by the management. Additionally, if something is wrong maintenance wise, forget about them fixing it. In summary, under no circumstances move in to this apartment. As impressive as the lobby and apartment may seem, I swear to you that you will deeply regret it.

Wow, there you have it folks. Exit polls on Ribrary Courts are at an all time low. While I read these comments to my roommates, we all had a good chuckle but with a twinge of nervousness. It’s like we are climbing one of those pyramid schemes but haven’t plummeted down yet. Hopefully it will never come and we will triumph over Ribrary Courts. Who knows. Anyway, hope to see everyone back in Charlottesville this weekend for our Ga Tech ass whooping. For now though, you’ll have to excuse me, I need to retire to my Breakfast Nook.