Ribrary Courts: Engrish Ressons

The way things are going, there might have to be a monthly update on the bizarre adventures of Library Courts, the apartment complex I call home. One of the topics broached in the first installment was the shabby workout room. One loyal Oceanliner reader sent yours truly a text message about his new digs, which apparently is trying to rival Library Courts in incompetence. The message read:

I read your workout room story and can beat it. The one in my building has a hand written sign with a max occupancy of 10, but there are 12 treadmills inside.

Touché, salesman, touché. However, Library Courts must have heard about this boneheaded move and decided to counter with one of their own. “Shit, we can’t let another building be more incompetent than us. Especially some retirement home in Tampa. Ceejay, you can handle this one, quick”. So right on cue, last week there was a new sign posted in my workout room, and of course, it was full of hilarity. Possibly written by our esteemed Sri Lankan leasing office manager Ceejay, the author definitely needs some Engrish ressons:First of all, I can’t get past the name of the building being plural, as in Library Courts. There is only one courtyard in front of the library across the street, and only one court house near by. Yet the name of the building is Library Courts, not the normal sounding Library Court. Whenever you see or hear the real name it causes just a little bit of confusion, and something about the name feels off. You gotta pick a better name than Library Courts.

Moving on, the author of the note decided to address the residents first with authority, then with cordiality. After first demanding the ATTENTION of the residents, the note then becomes our friend. It’s like a STOP sign that thanks you for coming by as you drive through.

Then comes the real Engrish mistakes. Clean my “sweats”? I have to make sure every bead of sweat is gone from the “pristine” workout room? Or does the note mean sweats as in sweatshirts and sweatpants? Obviously, something is lost in transration. Maybe I’ll post a follow up note.

The last mistake is just plain ineptitude and not knowing the right way to speak Engrish, but hey, that’s what I’ve come to expect from Ribrary Courts. These follies are like a Catch 22. I want more of them to happen because they add amusment to my daily routine. But it could also backfire one day when I’m being evicted for no apparent reason. Oh well, at least it’s funny, for now.

PS- Just in case you wanted to bring your landline phone to the gym with you, there is not one but two jacks to make this possible. I feel like I say this a lot, but again, you can’t make this shit up. Till next time, over and out.